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Yorkshire 2 / Week 18 Banter
« on: January 14, 2020, 04:03:40 PM »
Barn doors v England: Barns looking to out-muscle and outplay the league’s worst and most boring team in their bid to avoid the drop.

Poo boys v Bog trotters: Got to go with home form and Thorne’s poor traveling record, for a home BP win.

Old Fiji v New Fiji: Despite some tasty recent form from the farmers this should be a good test, but should see them nick a close win.

Sheep sha**ers v erm... sheep sha**ers: Smart money on the cheesy giant killers to romp over out of form Ribb.

Slimmers World v County Set: No mid table miracle here, going for a draw.

Yawno v Pie Men: Despite their cat-flap defence, Yawno will play the magic carpet better and use their speedy backs for another four tries and perhaps a win this week?

Wheatos v Snoozers: Minor Set back up the Dale last week will be long forgotten as Hegians will take the battering from the home pack and squeeze out a narrow win.

Yorkshire 2 / Week 17 Banter
« on: January 08, 2020, 06:44:35 PM »
It’s getting a bit lonely on here and impacting negatively on my pundit’s league status. I shall however, in the inimitable words of Claire Rayner, “press on”.

Barney Rubble v Bogtrotters: More misery to be poured on Barno as they dig deeper into the sand to find some form, but Thorne to up their game sufficiently to run in a few.

Not a Wharfedale feeder club v Excuserby: Despite home advantage and promises of free range shearlings for after match entertainment as a distraction, Wetherby to “weather” the storm (and temptations) and clinch a narrow away win.

County Set v England: Could be the day’s least exciting game, with WPL completely lost looking for the Northern Lights and home pack with enough grunt and grind to win by a clear margin.

Old Cashworthians v Old poo boys: Battle of the promotion seekers - Rish with too much clout overall and despite the welcome breaks fishing the ball out of the river, OGs won’t match the pace. Bonus point win for Rish.

New Fiji v Yawno: Ripon watering the pitch all week to reduce Yawn’s attacking options. The winning formula of over and under 18s working well again for another bonus point home win.

Large men v Large men: Seismometers at the ready to measure clashes of tectonic plate shifting proportions. It won’t be pretty or clever, but it will be a big game in all senses of the word. Score prediction gives Wath a +7 win and Wheatos to start their way down the table.

Snoozers v Cheesy Wotsits: Another somnambulant victory for perhaps the most boringly successful team after the All Blacks of the last few decades.

Yorkshire 2 / Week 16 Banter
« on: December 31, 2019, 04:14:09 PM »
Itching to kick off part two of the season:

Poo boys v Brawno: Barno’s highly strung Prop to be so incensed by changing room standards and sidestepping poo on way to pitch, will be yellow carded before kick off. OGs too powerful, organized and more importantly, not in fear of relegation and will win comfortably.

Bog trotters v County Set: North form will overcome the home advantage and sneak a narrow win.

Cheesies v Pie Men: what a culinary masterpiece this could be? If Wath fatties don’t manage to roll the pitch flat, a close home win on the cards.

England v Not a Wharfedale feeder club: Two teams vying for better than they are status. Seemingly no comments from WPL but excuses from North will probably be reaching Wetherby like proportions. Close home win.

Wheatos v Farmers: Hopefully plenty of Christmas cheer will slow down the Doncaster massive and Ripon’s Extra festive training sessions will lead to a tidy away win.

Yawno v Old Cashworthians: No magic carpet advantage over the flying Rish men. Possibly the best surface to show Rish talent and an away win .

Slimmers World v Snoozers: The week’s most boring game, with Hegians scoring in their sleep and Weth relying on lucky breaks and crossbars to gain their points.

Happy new year everyone.

Yorkshire 2 / Week 14 Scores
« on: December 14, 2019, 05:59:26 PM »
Ripon 6 - 9 Wetherby: lancashire game in lancashire conditions. Too many penalties in last 10 minutes killed home hopes of at least a draw. Seasons greetings to all and looking forward to better fortunes in the new year.

Yorkshire 2 / Week 14 Banter
« on: December 09, 2019, 10:14:00 PM »
Here goes for some further speculation:

Not a Wharfedale feeder club v Barn doors: No worries about costly bus trips, or embarrassing drop ins to other clubs, almost Lancashire to rub Brawno’s noses in the sheep s**t. Home hospitality will of course be top notch, especially with Flaggy encouraging coach trips to the max and the current choice of shearlings for post match entertainment. Home win by many.

Poo boys v County Set: North will have no answer to home hospitality for ref, including red carpet to pitch, to ensure home win and current OG prediction ranking leaders. No need for doggy do’s, job done. Oh, OGs will score more points.

Old Cashworthians v Cheesy Whotsits: No rabbit holes for the visitors to hide in here, but maybe some fox s**t to dodge. Either way, this will be a big hello to Y2 contention for the Dalesmen and a cricket score for the hosts.

Farmers v Slimmers World: If ever there was a time to get a decent result against Wetherby, this must be it. Go to go with heart and home advantage.

Pie Men v England: Wath now seasoned professionals at breathing underwater and wading through treacle, will grind WPL into the slop for a close home win.

Yawno v Wheatos: Home roly polies better adapted to conditions than visitors. Expect to see many clouds of rubber granules spraying as the big boys hit the AGP. Home backs will net plenty.

Snoozers v Bog trotters: Another somnambulant victory based on home side just doing something well and the visitors best team all on shifts this weekend. Plus, the complicated journey to the ground will be too much for the Thorne travelers, so home support will be an advantage.

Yorkshire 2 / Results Week 11
« on: November 24, 2019, 11:51:59 AM »
Ripon 30 - 3 Thornensians: After a dour first half (3 - 0) at half time, Ripon’s superior fitness and finesse shone through. Thorne had good backs and a meaty scrum, but not much in the way of attacking enterprise. Great team spirit in the Ripon squad now, bodes well for some more good results to come.

Yorkshire 2 / Week 7 Banter
« on: October 16, 2019, 09:20:22 PM »
For what it's worth and sorry to let you down last week Dr Ruck.

Poo Boys v Pie Men: Having travelled to Moor Road last weekend, I was pleasantly surprised by a) the quality of the pies on the bar. Did they need paying for? Either way, it's a wonder anyone gets near the pitch if they eat a few of those before the game. And b) that there was actually a dog poo recovery squad in action before the game. Clearly an emerging problem with our canine lovers not playing the game. Oh, judging by Wath current form, a solid away win.

Old Rich v Sheep sha**ers: Got to go with home dominance and despite several rest periods whilst the ball is fished out of the river, Ri$h fitness to show.

Cheesies v Bog Trotters: As long as the Thorne massive don't get too claustrophobic with the surrounding hills, a good away win. Check the boot of the coach for cheese, sheep and farmer's daughters before leaving.

Slimmers World v England: England to get lost on walk to pitch and Weth to go ahead by a converted try before they arrive. A close home win after that.

Wheatos v Brawno: Despite the boring motorway journey, Barn doors to hit the ground running here and restore some status with a good away win.

Yawno v County Set: No catch and drive fest here and The Anglers' "exciting" backs will give North a magic carpet ride they would rather forget.

Farmers v Sleeping Giants: On probabilities, with respect to Hegians' current form, Ripon should take home win. A close run thing, but lots of pride at stake here now.

Yorkshire 2 / Week 5 Banter
« on: September 30, 2019, 02:28:23 PM »
Could be a long and lonely season for Dr Ruck and I, but it makes me happy!

Pooh boys v Farmers: Despite OMGs hoping for home advantage, Ripon will be training on local dog walks to acclimatise and aspire to get out of bottom two worst teams in the league. Close away win.

Ri$h Men v Pie Men: Back into winning ways for "used to be Fiji" - are there any Polynesian imports this season - sorry I missed the Ripon game. Wath suffering from agoraphobia and too much distance between pitch and after match meal. Home win.

Cheesies v County Set: Despite best new clubhouse in the league and worst pitch by far, this Dale won't fair so well against bigger brothers from down the road. Away win.

England v Bog trotters: Best pitch, best clubhouse, worst team and worst atmosphere - Thorne to show up on the pitch and keep the traveling supporters in good humour. Away win..

Slimmers World v Brawno: Got to show solidarity with A1 corridor neighbours, plus diet plan with enable home pack to run rings around the visitors. Home win.

Wheatos v Seep sha**ers: No home advantage for Hills and Ribb getting up a decent head of steam. Hopefully the sheep will make it home intact. Away win.

Yawn v Snoozers: League position totally contradicts playing style, but if Hegians can overcome the magic carpet trick, another sound win. Y1 hopefuls? A scary prospect. Maybe an away win, maybe a draw? ZZZZZZ

Yorkshire 2 / Week 4 Banter
« on: September 23, 2019, 08:00:44 PM »
Better watch what I'm saying the way last weekend's results went! Also, not sure if this is worth it or not as everyhas busy lives, but Banter give some something to look forward to in my sad, lonely life working away every week! Anyway, here goes:

Sheep sha**ers v erm... sheep sha**ers: A tidy home win, though the result of the game will pale into insignificance compared to the virtues of Gimmers versus Shearlings.

County Set v Slimmers World: No excuses this week and the Northallerton juggernaut will roll on towards its Y1 aspiration.

Farmers (now Fiji) v used to be Fiji (or are they now?): Got to tread carefully here, "Fortress Mallorie Park" may make a difference, but hoping for a closer game all round, Ripon to nick it.

Snoozers v Wheatos: Sleeping giants apparently wide awake and probably easily able to accommodate WH "bish, bash bosh" game. Another, zzzzzz home win.

Bog trotters v OMG: Poo boys to definitely bounce back from last week, but frying pans into steaming cauldrons spring to mind here.

Pie Men v (Not so) Yawno: let's see if the "exciting" Yawno back line excite on the pool table? Big beardy boys to smash and grab another home win.

England v Brawno: Got to go with yet another home win here and Barnsley, whilst used to a big pitch, won't get much of a grip here.

Yorkshire 2 / Week 3 Banter
« on: September 16, 2019, 08:26:37 AM »

Yawno v Farmers: A Friday night playing Rugby instead of going out on the lash will see Ripon continue with winning ways - just.

Poo boys v Ex Fiji: Groves on a roll, so Rish to slip up here.

Bog trotters v Brawno: Barns with no answer to the baying mob and Thorne supporters will be influential too.

England v County Set: North to find good form on the biggest pitch in the world.

Slimmers World v Sheep sha**ers: indifferent away form will tell here and Wetherby to romp to victory.

Wheatos v Pie Men: Another "survival of the fattest" competition. Whoever can rumble for 80 minutes will take this, but betting on a home win.

Cheesy whotsits v Snoozers: Dale to catch Hegians napping and notch up a decent home win.

Yorkshire 2 / Week 2 Banter
« on: September 09, 2019, 12:39:56 PM »
Interesting results last weekend, so some tough predictions.

Brawno v Poo Boys - Going with home advantage and maybe OG's squad depleted with their cricketers getting called up to try and draw the ashes series.

Sheep Sha**ers v England - Playing safe with home strength and England suffering through lack of altitude training.

County Set v Bogtrotters - Thorne not to travel well and be dazzled by see of stripey blazers. Could be a week of home advantage.

Used to be Fiji? v Yawno - Yarnbury back line could be the difference here and get them an exciting away win.

Farmers v Wheatos - Got to go with my heart here, plus Ripon's pre-season efforts have to pay dividends soon.

Snoozers v Slimmers World - With a fat and fit pack, this will be a good away win, as long as they don't get seduced by the pre-match buffet.

Pie Men v Cheesies - If Wath can rein in the 'Dale back row and nippy Full Back, the postage stamp pitch will do the rest for a modest home win.

Yorkshire 2 / Week 1 Scores
« on: September 07, 2019, 05:39:58 PM »
Cheese men 37 - 18 Farmers - A cruel underestimation of a workmanlike team and good back row. Ripon made a promising start, but with a misfiring scrum, two yellow cards and one red, the rest of the game was an uphill struggle. Injuries didn't help, but need to bounce back for next week's home game. Interesting other results too, but looks like I am starting the season in my usual prediction place!

Yorkshire 2 / Week 1 Banter
« on: September 01, 2019, 04:57:25 PM »
Now the predictions are flooding in quick and fast, time to see what we really think?

Brawno v County Set - Despite allegedly losing personnel to bigger and better things, North will just about edge this. Barnsley desperate to avoid last season's mess, but unless they have recruited well, could be another long hard season. Northallerton not to get too cocky early on though.

Poo Boys v Yawno - A summer of doggy-do fertilization will make the playing surface at Apperley very lush, if not a little smelly. Visitors' mercurial runners will be lost in the jungle and maybe even slowed down by the odd undetected turd. A narrow home win and Yarnbury demanding all OG's fixtures revert the the school AGP.

Bog Trotters v Sheep Sha**ers - Welcome back to Thornensians. A long journey from the shelter of the Dales and no shelter from the "Thorne Massive", who will be out in force (unless it's raining) to constructively criticize any error and question the impartiality of the referee if anything goes against them. Could be a hearty home win.

Cheesy Wotsits v Farmers - Welcome to the dizzy heights of Level 8 to Wensleydale, hope the intricacies of EMCs and playing on here don't interfere too much with the dry stone walling and milk production? A difficult one to predict here with both Ripon 1sts and 2nds travelling up t'dale, so perhaps a lot of posturing on and off the pitch. Have to go with heart and say Ripon's pre season fitness programme bodes well and retaining much of last year's squad will doubtless enable a solid away "Blue Rinse".

England v Snoozers - Perhaps the most boring game of the season between the two most boring sides on the biggest pitch in the world. They could almost get two games going and nobody would notice or care. Draw.

Slimmers World v Pie Men - Assuming personnel remain unaltered, could be the usual clash of clean shaven big boys versus bearded  big boys? Ever keen to maintain cordial relations with local sides, will go for a modest home win, but it won't be pretty.

Wheatos v Used to be Fiji, not sure any more - Much investment will have been made in Rish bouncing back up, but after last season, suspect WH have more to regain on the pitch. Plus that swanky new clubhouse extension must be destined for greater levels that Y2. A narrow home win.

Here's to a cracking season for all and may the best teams win.

Yorkshire 2 / Scores Week 26
« on: April 13, 2019, 08:52:29 PM »
Ripon 30 - 19 West Park Leeds: After a mixed first half in which Ripon were tested to the extreme, a consolidated set piece eventually  set the scene for a home win after going into the break behind on points.

 A massive crowd by home standards, whose support was immense and ultimately helped the team to a solid bonus point win to maintain league standing.

The points margin should emphasise Ripons ability to capitalise on mistakes, rather than any other factors.

Here's to next season and all injured players returning to full form as soon as possible.

No longer looking thanks.

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