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Yorkshire 2 / Week 6 Predictions (14/10/23)
« on: October 12, 2023, 03:27:09 PM »
Dinnington v Leeds Corinthians

Hemsworth v Ripon

Huddersfield Laund Hill v North Ribblesdale

Ossett v Bramley Phoenix

Yarnbury v Wath Upon Dearne

Baildon v Roundhegians

Yorkshire 2 / Pre-Season
« on: July 19, 2023, 09:38:42 AM »
How's everyone's pre-season going?

Have the mercenaries made their annual pilgrimage to the highest bidder?

Are clubs managing to get sufficient numbers to feel confident for the season ahead?

To get the forum started, I'm reliably informed that our friends up in the Beverly Hills of Bradford *have had excellent pre-season training numbers with a variety of ages in attendance. What a wonderfully inclusive club.*

Yorkshire 2 / Relegation Favourites
« on: November 09, 2022, 02:24:15 PM »
Feel free to throw in suggestions if not listed

Yorkshire 2 / Promotion Favourites?
« on: November 09, 2022, 02:20:50 PM »
Feel free to suggest alternative options if not selected...

Yorkshire 2 / Predictions 12-02-2022
« on: February 10, 2022, 08:58:16 AM »
Val D'Baildon vs South Yorkshire Puddings
Forecast is snowy with the chance of smelly chat from the Bad Boy Chiller Crew. With the ink barely dry on the transfer papers the Beverly Hills boys are seeing a change in fortune mid-season. Horizontal blizzards and home advantage to see Duxbury Senior / Junior claim victory. Baildon -7

Fisherman's Friends vs Shreddies
Far east vs slightly less far east - almost a local derby. The anglers should have enough to steer this one safely into port. Hull +7

Champions Elect vs North Woke'Dale
So long as Keighley keep all their chat PC and don't offend anyone I'm looking forward to hearing the Ribb members confirm their unquestionable title of league champions. Rumour has it they've even printed them a special banner for the occasion. Keighley +7

WWW WDs vs Smoggies
So long as he hasn't been banned by the moderators or re-admitted to Broadmoor I'm looking forward to WWWs insights into the game. No amount of suspiciously creamy homemade pasta and knoc-off staropramen will help the Miggy Massive overcome the large units from Teesside (do try and stick about in the bar though or we won't hear the end of it). North' -7

Wotsits vs Rugrats
The North Yorkshire derby. Neither team particularly in great form; however, that's not what will decide the fixture. I have been informed by sources from both camps that the team with the finest array of mullets is to be awarded the victory, with the losers resigned to playing soggy biscuit all afternoon as the winners feast on ale and (wensleyd)ale. Wotsits +7 (the chap with the bleached tips on his mullet has bold look)

Whalers vs Otley 3rds
Have the Etonians taken a leaf out of their Bradford neighbours book and been on a mid-season recruitment drive?? It's quite a bit further from NSW than Wibsey though... In a massive upset I'm predicting a big away win for the Waifs, who to make up for decades of colonial atrocities import yet more players from the commonwealth. The new team sheet will have so many hard-to-pronounce names people could confuse them for the Bees... Groves(twinned with tonga) +7

Snowflakes vs Bog Dwellers
A spin on the magic carpet chasing the 'laissez faire' style of rugby employed by Yarnbury for the bottom of the league bog dwellers. Much like Aladdin escaping Jaffar with a game of hot-potato to keep the ball away from the mutants in the scrum. If not even the team with the ball know what they're going to do with it, how can a team possibly defend it? Yarnbury +7

Yorkshire 2 / Week 4 Predictions / Banter
« on: September 23, 2021, 03:11:08 PM »
Beverley Hills of Bradford vs BTEC Etonians
A good match for those looking after the pennies, no long away days here in a tasty local derby. Quite a contrast from the doldrums of Apperley Bridge to Mount Doom, but I'm backing the Barbour and tweed brigade here. Without having to dodge various dog logs the hooray henrys will run riot, with just as much hot air blowing from the side lines as from the sky. Grovians +7

East Riding Anglers vs Cheesey Wotsits
Are 'Dale going to be the whipping boys of the league? Yet to accrue a win despite the considerable home advantage of the lumpiest pitch in England in previous matches. I hope the prospect of a good bus trip fires up the Wotsits as it's a great day out up to Wensleydale. 'Dale -7

Keefleh vs Woff
Home advantage to play a key role as Jafar is unable to catch Aladin on his magic carpet. I hope the boys from south of the border pack plenty of Vaseline to protect their delicate knees and elbows from the frightfully abrasive playing surface, a few dog logs would soften the landing I'm sure. Keighley +7

WWW Wet Dreams vs Friendly Farmers
WWW must be a home-only supporter, I'm sure we're all looking forward to his insightful match commentary. I hope the Middleton Massive can produce a big result against the Rugrats from Ripon. Corinthians -7

Readers Wives vs Teeside Terrors
Another team yet to get a win this year, are Thorne set for relegation (and do everyone a favour) or will they settle for their usual lower-table mediocrity? North' to roll all the way down the A1, straight over their opponents and then make a swift exit before the locals steal too many of their belongings. North' +7

Slimmers World vs Slimmers World (but better)
A clash of titanic propositions, and that's just the queue for the post match meals. I'm back 'Hills to continue their unbeaten win in a game that will suit their really varied and multi-dimensional playing style. 'Hills +7

Yawnbury vs Wharfedale 3s
Does anyone really care? Two teams that have long since fallen from the heady heights of Yorkshire 1, but still have egos to outweigh their meagre capabilities. Very boring DRAW

Yorkshire 2 / Week 3 Predictions / Banter
« on: September 16, 2021, 10:13:54 AM »
Hopefully this goes a bit smoother - apologies for any misdiagnoses on the notes, GP's hand writing...

 East Riding Deep Sea Fishermen vs Beverley Hills of Bradford
It's a long trip out east for the Bad Boy Chiller Crew, their high altitude training camp may pay dividends down at sea level. Low scoring affair as Baildon realise that the ball doesn't fly quite as far as they expect without a howling gale for assistance. Baildon -7

Wharfedale 3rds vs Big red leicester
What a cultural shock for the men from Settle, less rolling hills and sheep more burnt out caravans and toothless locals. Going to back the knuckle-draggers from south yorkshire who will 'whoop' and 'boom' their way to victory. Thorne +7

Teesside Terrors vs BTEC Etonians
As the Hooray Henrys arrive in Daddy's chopper they'll be welcomed warmly at the border with mordor, such is the smog and fumes that blows across from Teesside. It's early in the season but there's been a hint of rain, which means North's pitch will already be ankle-deep in mud. Both teams to spend 80 mins bog trotting and no time scoring, 0-0! DRAW

Friendly Farmers vs Fat Fighters
Small vs Big. Young vs Old. Pre-pubescent Acne vs Early onset Diabetes. Ripon's young lads will need to stay on their toes to avoid the embrace of Slimming World. If the pitch is in descent condition will be a cricket score for the lads yet to sit their A-Levels. The main concern is whether the Ripon hooker has got a proper haircut yet. Ripon +7

Post Stamp Pitch Pat vs WWW's Wet Dreams
The words on everyone's lips 'will WWW make the trip down to Wath to watch his beloved Leeds Corinthians?' The result surely hangs in the balance... I'm predicting a non-attendance as his electronic tag won't allow him more than 2 miles from Middleton. Wath -7 J

Cheesey Wotsits vs Magic Carpet Marauders
Surely a big bus trip on the cards for the men from Keefleh?! 'Dale's pitch couldn't be more different to their lovely RFU-sponsored carpet though, and the forwards might actually have to do something rather than admire their fluorescent boots. Home advantage to benefit the Wotsits but Keefleh to have the  better day out as they get to enjoy the naked skydiving on the bus back. 'Dale -7

Brawno vs Yawno
Similar situation to the Ripon game, only less exciting. 'Hills larger than life pack to push Patto's Posse around the park in a game for the purists. Lots of smelly chat in the scrums and don't expect the ball to get past the first man all game. My advice, save yourself the struggle and go support Corinthians at Wath for a chance to see WeirdoWetWipe in the flesh. 'Hills -7

Yorkshire 2 / Week 1 - Predictions / Banter
« on: September 01, 2021, 03:08:37 PM »
NOT a Wharfedale feeder club vs Chads

Expect to see plenty of Schoffel and Barbour on display for this one; I imagine both teams will have enjoyed lockdown, quaffing vast quantities of of craft beer and pork scratchings. Result may depend how many of the 'Dale boys are out collecting the bountiful harvest (or disappeared down the road to their noisy neighbours). Win for the private school Chads

Yawnbury Anglers vs Friendly Farmers

Life doesn't seem to have been kind to the deep sea fishermen from central yorkshire in the post-Bob Hood era but the magic carpet playing surface has been known to cause upset (not only on the scoreboard, but also to anyone's ankles, knees and elbows who plays on it). Win for the Sheep enthusiasts.

Bog Dwellers vs Large Men

A meeting of large men and more large men, I doubt this will be a match of free flowing rugby and more likely to resemble the seal enclosure in the zoo as the big boys struggle to squeeze into their skin tight shirts after 15 months off. Win for the salad-dodgers from 'Hills

Slimming World vs Larger Men

Another meeting of the pie enthusiasts, expect plenty of exchanges of sweets in the scrums whilst they pretend to push. Win for the Fat Fighters from East Leeds.

Cast of Shameless vs Wallace and Gromit

Will the boys from 'Dale know what has hit them when they step off the coach in Middelton? It's not quite the Chatsworth estate but don't rule out a burnt-out car on the side of the pitch just yet. Win for the Leeds boys (bonus point if they steel the hubcaps off the away team coach)

Beverley Hills of Bradford vs NOT Teesside

The real highlight for the Northallerton boys has to be getting the trip to Mount Doom out of the way before the first snow of the year has fallen (usually in early October at that altitude). Expect plenty of kicking (direction subject to the Category 4 hurricane usually present) and really entertaining pick and go rugby. Very boring win for the Bradford Bad Boy Chiller Crew

Reader's Wives vs The worst team in the city

Another match on the magic carpet - will be interest to see how the injuries in the league react to doubling the number of games on the hallowed plastic and rubber turf. Two new teams to the league, going to go with a home win (which is unlikely to be the worst part of the away team's weekend given they live in Hull).

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