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Messages - Gav Iscon

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1
Other Senior Rugby / Re: Northumberland v Yorkshire
« on: May 19, 2012, 12:48:34 PM »
For those interested the half time and full time score will be on Percy Parks website http://percyparkrfc.co.uk in the Live Score module, top right.

2
Miscellaneous Chat / Re: The Joke Thread
« on: May 06, 2012, 10:58:11 AM »
At Last a Rational explanation of the Game – (Compiled by members of the pack)??.
 
It is largely unknown to players and followers of the modern game that rugby started off purely as a contest for forwards in opposition in line-outs, scrums, rucks and mauls. This pitted eight men of statuesque physique, supreme fitness and superior intelligence in packs against one another.
 
In those days, the winner was the pack that won the most set pieces. The debasement of the game began when backs were introduced. This occurred because a major problem was where to locate the next scrum or line-out.
Selecting positions on the ground for these had become a constant source of friction and even violence.
 
The problem was resolved by employing forward rejects, men of small stature and limited intelligence, to run aimlessly around within the field of play.
Following a set piece, the ball would be thrown to one of them, who would establish the next location either by dropping it or by throwing it to another reject for dropping. Very occasionally, a third reject would receive the ball before it would be dropped, and crowds would wildly cheer on these rare occasions. Initially these additional players were entirely disorganized but with the passing of time they adopted set positions.
 
For instance, take the half-back. He was usually one of the smallest and least intelligent of the backs whose role was simply to accept the ball from a forward and to pass it on to one of the other rejects who would drop it, providing the new location for the forwards to compete. He could easily (given his general size) have been called a quarter forward or a ball monkey but then tolerance and compassion are the keys to forward play and the present euphemism was decided on.
 
The five-eighth plays next to the half-back and his role is essentially the same except that when pressured, he usually panics and kicks the ball.
Normally, he is somewhat taller and slightly better built than the half-back and hence his name. One-eighth less and he would have been a half-back, three-eighths more and he might well have qualified to become a forward.
 
The centres were opportunists who had no expertise but wanted to share in the glamour associated with forward packs. After repeated supplication to the forwards for a role in the game they would be told to get out in the middle of the field and wait for instructions. Thus, when asked where they played, they would reply "in the centre". And they remain to this day, parasites and scroungers who mostly work as lawyers or used car dealers.
 
You may ask, why wingers? The answer is simple. Because these were players who had very little ability and were the lowest in the backline pecking order, they were placed as far away from the ball as possible. Consequently, and because the inside backs were so diligent in their assigned role of dropping the ball whenever they received it, the main contribution to the game made by the winger was not to get involved. Their instructions were to run away as quickly as possible whenever trouble appeared, and to avoid tackles at all costs. The fact that the game was organised so that the wingers didn't get to touch the ball led to an incessant flow of complaints from them and eventually the apt description "whingers" was applied. Even though the "h" dropped off over the years, the whingeing itself unfortunately has not.
 
Lastly, the full-back. This was the position given to the worst handler, the person least able to accept or pass the ball, someone who was always in the way. The name arose because the forwards would understandably become infuriated by the poor play invariably demonstrated by that person, and call out "send that fool back". He would then be relegated well out of everyone's way to the rear of the field.
 
So there you have it. Let's return to the glory days of a contest between two packs of eight men of statuesque physique, supreme fitness and superior intelligence. The rest can go off to where they will be happier, playing soccer.
 

4
Other Senior Rugby / Re: County Championships
« on: May 06, 2012, 08:30:17 AM »
Durham won 48-14. was a good game of running rugby by durham

Well done, Northumberland lost to Lancashire 42-34 . Wasn't at game so can't comment on it.

5
Other Senior Rugby / Re: County Championships
« on: May 03, 2012, 03:30:57 PM »
Good idea grasscutter, I'll ring Bob up just to find that out, "scuse me Bob old lad, you don't mind givin' me a quick run down on t' team do yer? I know it's 2012 and that t'internet thing seems to have kicked off, but t'old boys on't Yorkshire Comittee don't like change and won't update the site."

 ;D ;D ;D Sounds familiar. Our county site's pretty poor.

6
North One / Re: Next seasons Teams
« on: April 30, 2012, 12:04:54 AM »
I've just done the travel distances for us next season and its over 3000 miles.

Sent from my HTC Desire using Tapatalk

7
North One / Re: Play Off Predictions
« on: April 29, 2012, 12:01:15 AM »
Thanks for the congratulations. Knocked at the door for Nat 3 for the last 2 seasons and after a game today which really could of went either way, we won it. National 3 here we come. Well done lads and commiserations to Alnwick.
 

8
North One / Re: Play Off Predictions
« on: April 23, 2012, 08:00:21 PM »
Park +7

9
North One / Re: Results 21.04.12
« on: April 22, 2012, 12:51:10 PM »
Billingham 29 - 07 Percy Park. Game was won in the first half against a Percy park side that weren't at full strength due to next weeks play off fixture. However Percy park played really well and defended a lot better than the score line reflects. Billingham attacked well and defended even better. Exchange referee was excellent.

Good luck to Percy Park next week!

Thanks for the kind words!! I didn't think we played very well at all and with your backs (as they have all season) whizzing the ball about like a pin ball machine we sadly couldn't spoil your unbeaten home record >:( ;D.  Interestingly, in the 14 times we've played you since the 2001/2002 season we've both only beat each other once away. Anyway, good luck for next season and hopefully we'll be joining you.

Its also bye bye to Team North, Gateshead and Brods who must be gutted after having a brilliant start to the season. Welcome to Darlington and Pocklington with Alnwick and Keighley to playoff.

10
North One / Re: Final Predictions 21.04.2012
« on: April 19, 2012, 10:57:50 PM »
Billingham                       Vs.   Percy Park    +7   
Cleckheaton              Vs.           Malton and Norton     +7 
Durham City               Vs.   Middlesbrough     +7 
Morpeth                       Vs.   Old Crossleyans  +7     
Northern        +7              Vs.          Old Brodleians       
Sheffield             +7         Vs.          Gateshead       
Wheatley Hills    +7          Vs.          Team Northumbria

11
North One / Re: Who's Getting Relegated???
« on: April 16, 2012, 06:39:20 PM »
Brods for me as well.  We were just saying after Saturdays results that they were top of the league for most of September and now they're about to be spat out the bottom. Although if they win and Morpeth win !!!!!!

12
North One / Re: N1 Results 14.4.12
« on: April 15, 2012, 09:36:20 PM »
Yeah a fair result, but its just been the story of our season, giving games away too easy when we were in the driving seat, some real in-experienced decision making at certain times.

Guessing that will be our last game this season, can' see Team No-show turning up next week when they couldn't make a home game. Did Cleck really travel up there for them not to appear? Disgusting behaviour.

It was off on the Friday according to Clecks site.

And Cleckfatboy. You type your message in the big white box, not where you put the title. Oh and welcome to the forum, just in time for the end of the season  ;D ;D

13
North One / Re: N1 Results 14.4.12
« on: April 15, 2012, 09:47:31 AM »

You are indeed correct and according to our calculations it will be at our place as we have the better playing record. Fingers crossed. :P

Unless you get beat by 200 points next week it looks like one of Liverpool St. Helens, Widnes and Vale of Lune will be going to Park.

Its between Liverpool St Helens and Widnes. Northwich fell out the equation yesterday. We're just happy its at our place.

14
North One / Re: N1 Results 14.4.12
« on: April 15, 2012, 09:17:13 AM »
Am I right in thinking PP have secured the Play-off place now? Fair play to them if they have, only 6/7 weeks ago they weren't really considered serious contenders to finish 2nd. Well done to them!

You are indeed correct and according to our calculations it will be at our place as we have the better playing record. Fingers crossed. :P

15
North One / Re: Predictions 14/4/12
« on: April 09, 2012, 07:53:08 PM »
Malton and Norton +7 vs Sheffield   
Middlesbrough vs Wheatley Hills  -7
Northern +7 vs Gateshead
Old Brodleians +7 vs Morpeth   
Old Crossleyans vs Billingham  +7
Percy Park +7 vs Durham City
Team Northumbria vs Cleckheaton +7

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