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Yorkshire 3 / Re: He's Back
« on: October 24, 2023, 02:19:40 PM »
Games off.......gives him time to get a few more hundred meters of walking in so he will be fighting fit next week

Yorkshire 3 / He's Back
« on: October 24, 2023, 11:57:23 AM »
18 months on from a serious cardiac event the best loose-head this side of the Rother is back. After a solid 18 month rehabilitation programme consisting of further weight gain and a singular 1 mile jog he has been deemed fit to return to action!

With his Will in his back pocket he will return to action this weekend against a well performing Bramley. Rumour has it that after a scrummaging scare in France during the world cup he will be rolling onto the pitch in the 2nd row due to concerns around his nervousness about packing down against an experienced Bramley front row. If he can make it out of the back seat of the car a fair few litres of blue and maroon body paint will be required if the 17 shift doesn't fit anymore.

He will be consistently laid on the wrong side of every breakdown he manages to walk to, expect plenty of penalties for the Bramley 10 to knock over.

Roth by 1.   

Yorkshire 3 / Re: new season
« on: July 18, 2023, 03:09:10 PM »
The big fat bed breaking prop at rotherham has recovered from his bacon and cheese induced cardiac "event", but given he's heavier than ever I'd say he's in for a tough pre-season if he even wants to fit in the 1 shirt never mind compete for it. They maybe purchasing some blue and maroon body paint if they need to roll him out.

Yorkshire 4 / Re: Wk 5 predictions
« on: September 30, 2022, 11:57:52 AM »
Halifax v Mosborough - Fax all the way here again; a barnstorming display by the hooker, as predicted, last week will continue into week 5. Keep an eye on the young 9 too doing an excellent job around the base of the rucks! Fax 25+

Hessle v Hornsea - both had poor outings last week by all accounts. With no W's on the board for either team this weekend is critical. Hornsea looking doomed already, Hessel to sneak it at home +5

Mods v Knaresborough - A week off the Mods lads will be sitting heavy after apparently the front row spent the weekend at the international cheese festival. There will be some big lads sweating tomorrow. Mods to take it at home by 5+

Otliensians v Nestle - Home advantage key here, lets hope the chubby little 8 has a better run out for Otley than he did last week. Otley by 15+

Phoenix v Aireborough - The Titans academy are 3 from 3 - lets see how long they can keep this up. Wont be easy against Aire, a classic game that both forwards will be looking forward to, it will be like watching 6 fat children fight over the last slice of cake at every scrum. If Roth decide to use the backs this week then they will be in trouble, as last week apparently the 12 may as well have had no hands with the amount of knock ons. Apparently the aging illustrious tighthead is having a weekend off babysitting his own kids so expect a weakened front row, the extra plumber added little last week. Word is that the fat guy has had to get himself an abacus as he cant keep count of all the tackles and tries. Roth by 10+

Stocks v York - York will be seething that the shambles of a Rotherham bus trip nilled them at home, and with the return of Stocks egg-like crash 10 being side-lined into the centres (so the other backs can touch the ball) can expect another nilling away. Expect a few labouring runs from deep for the heavyset 15. If Spud can keep his discipline this week then its Stocks by 5+

Yorkshire 4 / Week 4 Prediction
« on: September 22, 2022, 08:53:08 AM »
Aireborough V Old Otliensians - Tough one to predict here two great teams going at it, I think the Aire 9 will make all the difference and sneak a home win

Hornsea V Halifax - Fax all the way +25 points - The hooker is the stand out player, expect him to bag a few meat pies

Knaresborough V Stocksbridge - An early relegation decider, Stocks cant rely on the Wilkinson-esque balding 10 this week so the backs will have to rely on the heavy set topknotted centre to crash the ball all match. Lets see if it pays off.....

Nestle Rowntree V Hessle - A midtable clash with little consequence, neither team able to push for promotion. After a poor outing last week the Nestle 10 will need his kicking boots this week to tie up the home win

York RI V Rotherham Phoenix - Where to start.....Phoenix have had a rough off-season with the top heavy elderly prop having a mild cardiac event putting him even further off his feet. It seems the years of heavy meringue puddings have finally caught up with him. The cover they have in the front row is poor, another plumber brought in to fix the leaks will have little impact. The forwards leave a lot to be desired but the backs are even worse, with one of the small twins now serving a 5 year sentence the other remaining twin seems lost. The decent backs they had have gone to stocks and the ones left are more at home playing touch on a Thursday night. The only standout performer is still their captain, he will lead them well against a very poor York team. Rotherham always win easy at York Roth by +35

Yorkshire 3 / Re: Prediction for league title.
« on: August 06, 2019, 09:02:46 AM »
Roth will win the league hands down.

Word has it, that the big fat prop has laid off the lemon meringues over the summer and will be a svelte figure in the front row, he will push hard for a place on the second team bench. He will have to recapture his youth and over come his diabetes if he is to push for a first team spot. However, I am sure he will simply rely on injuries to be back in the 1st team by default. Leading the numbers in giving away penalties last season the squad will hope the weight loss will allow him to keep on his feet this season and not simply fall on rucks all year. He really struggled in the scrum last season with most of the young lads and even a few of the colts showing him up in live scrummaging sessions so hope fully he has been doing some strength training other than working the jaw. A combination of the big fat prop, chubby little hooker and Robbo will not cause any teams problems this season, I feel any referee may take pity on them and will spend most of the games uncontested to save their blushes.

The chubby little hooker will have spent the season getting fat whilst fielding on the boundary (at deep square leg, next to the burger van). With a batting average of just 3.4 this season he has not had to spend much time running between the wickets, so is pluming up nicely to combine for a heavy weight reserve front row.

Apparently the old man hooker is coming to the end of a mediocre career. Now in his deep late 30's he is unable to raise his small arms above his head, so throwing at the line out (his only skill) will now not be an option. I see him only being able to manage 10-15 mins a game. The chubby little hooker is in for a long season.

On a better note their illustrious captain has spent the summer working on his already top notch game. With him playing they will be an unbeatable force this season. Apparently his leaderships skill are second to none and he inspires even the poorest players in the dressing room to play their best. His comparisons to Sergio Parisse are well deserved.

Yorkshire 3 / Re: Predictions 08.12.18
« on: December 06, 2018, 09:02:14 AM »
Aireborough v Wensleydale - Dale (J).
Baildon v Leeds Modernians - Home advantage Baildon
Castleford v Thornensians - Close one, but Cas with home advantage
Harrogate Pythons v Leeds Corinthians - After man shaming the fat Rotherham prop for 80 mins this should be an easy win for Leeds
Hemsworth v Halifax Vandals - Hemsworth pack to win it up front
Rotherham Phoenix v Knottingley - Last week the fat guy played and they lost, just as predicted. Problem Roth have is, that I hear they had to use a very inexperienced player as captain who left 12 easy kickable points on the field, opting to scrum under the posts even with the poor fat loose head on the pitch. I'm sure the lad who was captain on Sat used to be quite good but apparently a significant weight gain has slowed both body and mind.  With their illustrious captain back on the field this week I am sure they will put Knottingley to the sword. I predict the heavy set fat sh*t house of an 8 will have a storming game this week after suffering some physiological abuse last week. Roth by 25+
Sheffield Medics v Skipton - Medics backs to win it at home

Yorkshire 3 / Re: Predictions 01.12.18
« on: November 28, 2018, 12:34:16 PM »
Halifax Vandals v Baildon - Baildon with the superior pack to take this one
Knottingley v Aireborough - The big Aire front row to win it up front
Leeds Corinthians v Rotherham Phoenix - He was back, for one game only but he was back, had the game of his life but is still 4 stone too heavy to be playing 1st team rugby. This one all depends on the influential captains fitness, plays they win, fat guy plays they loose. The chubby reserve hooker is plumping up nicely for the next cricket season, where they will be forced to employ him as some sort of backstop where the balls just hit him. The teams professional leg rubber/cupper is looking likely to break into the 1st team but hes too busy trying to repair the fat loose head to commit fully. Leeds by 45+ (J)
Leeds Modernians v Castleford - Cas all day
Thornensians v Sheffield Medics - Big thorne win
Wensleydale v Hemsworth - Hemsworth to sneak it away from home

Yorkshire 3 / Re: Predictions 27.10.18
« on: October 25, 2018, 05:31:06 PM »
Castleford v Rotherham Phoenix - Junior Titans Feeder Academy A Team Backup Squad Reserves Social Team to come unstuck. 30+ to Cas. Their inspiring captain is in form, outstripping 1st team wingers by all accounts apparently, but other members of the squad let them down. The 2 brothers , who look suspiciously alike, on paper are great players; but word is they are having to pay the coaching staff to stay in the 1st's. The fat loose/tight head is apparently injured, the old diabetes/gout foot flaring up again surprisingly. Word is that an old great melon headed back row player is having a run out for the 2nds, could this be the return of a decent back row player that phoenix have been so desperate for for a while?
Knottingley v Baildon - Baildon to sneak it away from home
Leeds Corinthians v Wensleydale - Dale for me here
Leeds Modernians v Aireborough - Mods to use the hill to their advantage
Sheffield Medics v Harrogate Pythons - Pythons pack to win it for them
Thornensians (J) v Hemsworth - Thorne at home every game will be a win

Yorkshire 3 / Re: Predictions 20.10.18
« on: October 19, 2018, 08:45:47 AM »
Aireborough v Castleford - Aire to push on from here
Baildon v Harrogate Pythons - Pythons to bounce back from a very unlucky loss last week
Halifax Vandals v Thornensians - Another solid thorne performance coming here
Hemsworth v Leeds Modernians - Hemsworth
Knottingley v Leeds Corinthians - Knottingley home win
Rotherham Phoenix v Sheffield Medics (J) - Medics to dominate Junior Titans Feeder Academy A Team Backup Squad Reserves by 20+ points. The captain was apparently inspiring last week but the rest of the front row weren't interested; word is they were terrified of the pythons pack, the old man hooker even cried off after 20mins. They used to have a tall dark haired second row that used to shine in the lower leagues but word is Yorkshire 3 has got a bit physical for him, he came to watch a few weeks back apparently but couldn't stand the physicality. The fat loose/tighthead did him self no favors with the 2nds having a very poor game, rumor has it Dinnington 5th team have him in mind for their social captain.
Wensleydale v Skipton - Dale here

Yorkshire 3 / Re: Predictions 13.10.18
« on: October 12, 2018, 08:40:15 AM »
Castleford v Hemsworth -  Cas at home.
Harrogate Pythons (J) v Rotherham Phoenix - Pythons by 15+. A week off last week, sat about eating cheese, for the aging front row will have done them no favours. The old fat loosehead has now moved to playing tighthead for the 2nds, as he’s after the 1st team tightheads shirt. Junior Titans Feeder Academy A Team Backup Squad to come unstuck against a savvy pythons pack. Rumour is the old man playing 10 for them may take early retirement before he’s pushed. Having been relegated to playing 9 the last few seasons the semi-pros they have fetched in are slowly pushing him out.
Leeds Corinthians v Baildon -Leeds
Sheffield Medics v Aireborough - Medics backs to win this one
Skipton v Knottingley – Skipton here
Thornensians v Wensleydale – A solid Thorne will here, I expect by 30+

Yorkshire 3 / Re: Predictions 29.09.18
« on: September 26, 2018, 01:25:11 PM »
Aireborough v Harrogate Pythons - Pythons to edge this one
Baildon v Rotherham Phoenix  - Junior Titans Feeder Academy A Team to struggle here. A less than convincing win last week, they had to rest their ageing front row after 50 mins so expect the older front rows to tire quickly against a strong young Baildon pack. I hear the fat loosehead has been making gains in the 2nd team, but I expect someone who is more committed to the club to get a bench spot over him. The young chubby lad who has been playing 8 for Roth used to be head and shoulders above the rest of their pack but the weight gain has slowed him down drastically, expect the Baildon 7 & 8 to dominate the breakdown and turnovers.
Hemsworth v Sheffield Medicals - Good battle here, going to go for hemsworth  pack to control the game
Leeds Corinthians v Skipton - Skipton
Thornensians v Knottingley  - (J) Big Thorne win coming here
Wensleydale v Leeds Modernians - Going to go Dale here, got the caravan up here so will be out to watch hopefully a good game

Yorkshire 3 / Re: Predictions 22.9.18
« on: September 21, 2018, 09:46:29 AM »
Harrogate Pythons v Hemsworth - Hemsworth to bounce back strong
Leeds Modernians v Knottingley - Leeds to sneak it
Rotherham Phoenix v Aireborough - Aireborough by 15+ the professional academy to fall foul of the great Aire pack. The Roth tighthead has been poor in past weeks, I hear through my sources hes only just scraping into the 1st team as his side business, babysitting his own kids, is getting in the way of his professional academy work. Looks like they have finally come to their senses at Roth and got rid of the useless fat loosehead, his diabeties foot was getting in the way of training. Word is he's starting up a 3rd team.
Sheffield Medics v Halifax Vandals - Medics with the students back
Skipton v Baildon - Skipton for the home win
Thornensians v Leeds Corinthians - (J) A big Thorne win coming here

Yorkshire 3 / Re: Predictions Week 3 (15.09.18)
« on: September 12, 2018, 02:48:23 PM »
Baildon v Aireborough - Aire to nick it with the big pack
Castleford v Knottingley - Cas at home for me
Hemsworth v Rotherham Phoenix - Hemsworth by 40+. Junior Titans Feeder Programme will struggle here. They have a major defensive weakness in their front row. The hooker, a man in his late 30's, has no place in the 1st team anymore, I cant see why they persist with him, they have a little chubby kid who is still playing cricket at the moment who will stroll back into the 1st team. I've heard on the rumor mill that the fat loose head could be back in the 1st team by default, expect plenty of kickable penalties for the Hemsworth 10.
Skipton v Thornensians - Thorne (J) I've got the caravan up at Skipton, so will be attending the game this week, so looking forward to a good Thorne win
Wensleydale v Sheffield Medics - Dale at home for me here

Yorkshire 3 / Re: Predictions Week 2 (08.09.18)
« on: September 07, 2018, 01:13:34 PM »
Aireborough V Hemsworth - Will be decided by the forwards, Aire to edge it
Castleford V Leeds Corinthians - Cas all the way
Harrogate Pythons V Wensleydale - Dale, they will be the dark horse of the league
Leeds Modernians V Skipton - Mods on the hill
Rotherham Phoenix V Halifax Vandals - Depends who Roth play in the front row, if they play that big fat useless loose head them seem to stick with then Vandals will take it, but I hear on the grape vine he's become too rotund for the 1st. If their game changing captain plays they win, no doubt he's a force to be reckoned with. Being the main Yorkshire 3 feeder club for the titans, which makes complete logical sense, I'm surprised their captain is not fully professional by now.
Sheffield Medicals V Knottingley - Sheff for me here, their 8 will keep them moving forwards all day
Thorne V Baildon - Thorne every day of the week, they will walk this league the play making combination of their 9 & 10 will create space all over the pitch.

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