As I turned up at the nutty slack, it looked as if Knottingley had a huge turn out, caravans all over the yard next door, loads of game looking lads in Adidas hoodies and puma slim fit tracky bottoms!!! The walk down the path was quite daunting and I started to think I should have brought my Steelers ice hockey stick for comfort. But I was brave in the knowledge that Fenton and Mr G would look after me with a nice pint of Staropramen and a players wife striptease.
I walked into the clubhouse and everyone was in high spirits, all the lads had 5 fingers and no one was carrying imaginary carpets so it immediately became clear that the Corinthians had won and beaten Knottingley 3rds.
I quickly made my way over to the bar and ordered a pint and a bucket of ice. I kept my eye out for Mr G and Fenton knowing they couldn't let me down for the striptease they had promised me. I was hoping to touch a bit of nipple with the ice I'd ordered as I don't get a pasting from Luciana doing that as I ain't actually touched any tit it would be the ice! I also get off on seeing erect nipples! However big disappointment as Mr G and Fenton were no shows, very much like the Boro frontline boys all mouth and then no shows!
Most of the Knottingley team didn't stop for a drink, but fair play to the ones who did and showed a small percentage of sportsmanship.
Corinthians boys were great to me, treated me lovely, had a laugh with me. I went to some pub called Falconers with them. It was fantastic, some sexy mucky women in their! Loads of bumping and grinding on the dancefloor, a bit of karaoke from the Corinthians Brummy lad who sounded like Lionel Ritchie, absolute beauty voice!
Don't tell Luciana but I pulled an absolute dirt bag of slag! She was mucky as crowley. She took me back to her caravan and it rocked all night, that is until paddy turned up at 5am this morning when I had to make a swift exit out of the plastic rear window, jump onto a horse and cart as get away before taking a good pasting. Paddy will not be happy with the amount of spunk I've left behind in that caravan, although he will be able to use it to fix his weird looking Chinese ornaments back together.
So how many Knottingley 1st teamers were missing? Let's also not forget you had a red card and a sin binning I hear? So I guess with only 13 players and 9 1st teamers out you have a perfect excuse!
Corinthians I had beauty night at clubhouse and then falconers, thanks for looking after me, some great dance moves from your lads explains why your backs are so hard to stop with such nimble feet. Hope you all liked my dance moves to 'dont blame it on the sunshine, don't blame it on the moonlight, don't blame it on the good times, blame it on the boogie' ?
Maybe see you at another ground, hoping other teams can show me such great hospitality!!!!
