Hi Guys, I'm new to this league so don't know much about the teams, so my predictions are gonna be a stab in the dark, based on hear say from my charva contacts in and around Yorkshire.
It's been a long old break with this pandemic, had some major bust ups with Luciana as I had to actually get to know her and had no choice but to hooker her whilst in lockdown! Anyway enough about my personal life and my Venezuelan beauty queen, onto the predictions for this week!
Baildon to win:
Sheffield have got the BBC Business Blades Crew.
Bradford have got the BBC Bad Boy Chiller Crew.
Baildon taking after there Bradford idols have got th BBBBC Bad Boy Baildon Ball Crushers. Northallerton are gonna face a hostile crowd all turning up in their big 450s, big goose parka, all-black clava. Fans on the sideline are gonna be doing wheelies, everyone the referee gives a decision against Baildon invisible guns are gonna be waved in the air as they pop it and twist it. Northallerton All saints parish church choir boys are gonna have to play Red light risk it rugby if they want to have any chance of coming for the lot, coming for the jackpot. However I fear for the choir boys, I think they'll freeze like they did in the parish church whilst singing O come all ye faithful for the first time in front of their parents. Will be a long day at the office for the choir boys and Baildon should pop it and twist it quite easily!
Leeds Corinthians to win.
I took a little smooch down to Leeds after lockdown and noticed a lot of the boys had been badly affected by lockdown and had turned to ladies Rounders for inspiration after losing their appetite for Rugby. Instead of smashing the bags, they were holding 9 inch wooden batons in their hand smashing balls around the ground and cupping balls as they tried to take diving catches. It was quite a sorry state of affairs, but after losing a match to Batley ninjas they soon realised that rounders and chatting about different vibrator heads wasn't for them and they quickly regrouped and refocused on the rugby. Wensleydale will find it tough coming from artic conditions and into the Mediterranean heat of Leeds. No wind assisted kicks, no icy slide ins for tries in tropical Leeds. The cheesemen will think they are on holiday with the sun baking, a new great looking fence, Staropramen and Madri on the tap and hot tub full of Miggys finest women! This will all be too much for the cheesemen as they'll want to party with me rather play a game of rugby in the heat of 18 degrees.
North Ribblesdale to win.
Sounds like a place where they'd film 'where the heart is' one of those places no one wants to go, one of those places that's really boring, one of those places where they drink beer with their little finger protruding, whilst nibbling on a scone. Im guessing it's one of those places no one wants to visit unless your a big museum fan, so Old Grovians are gonna want to get out of there quickly.
Thorne to win. This is my banker. Team from Donny deffo gonna be a full team of Turkish barber skin fades with tin tin fringes and all carrying imaginary carpets and all competing for the best tats. Most teams will have suffered during lockdown, but Donny being the capital of STDs will have benefited, no going out and getting STDs means a fully fit STD free squad, meaning the boys can hold onto each other blue stilton in the scrum for extra grip knowing they won't get a wart on their hands. Thorne deffo banker. Of Wheatley hills are to keep it respectable they need realise that if the Thorne boys put their arms by their side it's man v man, not man v hulk.
Wetherby to win. When you have a win bonus of fish and chips with extra scraps how can you lose? Tartar sauce needs to be offered if the boys from Rotherham are to cause an upset. Money talks and the rich and powerful win over the poverty stricken Rotherham boys. A night at Tivoli's and grab granny for the Rotherham boys 2moz.
Ripon to win easy. Reckon Yarnbury are going to be 'the only way is essex' team of Yorkshire 2. Pretty boy good looks, talking about relationship problems in the changing room, stressing whether Susan will prefer you in red or navy blue or should you just go full on tartan. Deffo these boys are gonna be talking about Samantha's affair with Charlie rather than talking tactics. Sauvignon blanc or Chardonnay will be the talk at halftime, whist the girlfriends pose for selfies with lips pouting. Yarnbury to be the whipping boys this year, but I'm looking forward to an away day here. You'll spot me hiding behind a tree, with a full on Sheffield steelers goalkeeper outfit on, shorts pulled down perving on the women! Just hope I make it into a wine bar after.
Keighley to win. Will Hull turn up? Or will a trip to civilization exiting a city twinned with Beruit be too much for them to handle?