I am incredibly disappointed that I have to post the findings from a recent ground inspection up here but the league really does need to know.
I was strolling round the Halifax Vandals ground and to my horror I found the touchline littered with Elfbars. Now last time I checked these had become illegal! Has this been noted by the Vandals group? Probably not. It really does require an eye for detail.
Now that this has been raised I would suggest an internal investigation to ascertain what's been going on. Is this the players? Is this the supporters? Or god forbid are a different group of "Vandals" littering our pitches?
I hate to go on but the state of the grounds and the players really does impact the enjoyment amongst the supporters. We turn up week in, week out and it's only fair we have some respect from clubs and players. I don't want to stand on the touchline and watch Dale, off his head on nicotine, miss another tackle.
To Wily Jim – A Few Facts From the Halifax Vandals
Alright Jim, let's clear a few things up before your next pint fuels another Facebook novel.
The Halifax Vandals aren't just letting the pitch turn into a vape graveyard. We've actually invested in state-of-the-art litter-picking tech—yes, the future is here, and it's sucking up Elf Bars faster than your cousin at a wedding disco.
We've also brought in private security to make sure the pitch stays exactly that—a pitch. Not a pop-up campsite. We've learned from last time, and we're not letting things slide again.
And as for Dale—yeah, he's had a rough patch. He's been battling nicotine addiction, and his wife did, tragically, run off with the Bramley linesman (who, let's be honest, was always a bit too keen on the touch flag). But Dale still turns up, still gives 110%, and—let's be real—still hits harder than you ever did, Jim. And that's saying something, considering he's powered purely by regret and Monster Energy these days.
So before you start waxing lyrical about "the good old days," maybe give a bit of credit to the people actually putting in the graft to keep the club alive and the pitch playable.
Less moaning, more supporting. Or at the very least, fewer 3am comment rants.
Up the Vandals.
Well said Bobby,
I often am in Clough Head just above the Vandals ground and sometimes drive down to see the state of the club/pitches etc. I havent played there for 35 years when I played for Littleborough and its 48 years since I played there for Ribb colts. The old converted Church was full of ghosts and character, but, I must say the new set up looks far superior than the old one. Good luck for the coming season from North Ribb.
Quote from: HonestBob on Jun 17, 2025, 09:15 PMTo Wily Jim – A Few Facts From the Halifax Vandals
Alright Jim, let's clear a few things up before your next pint fuels another Facebook novel.
The Halifax Vandals aren't just letting the pitch turn into a vape graveyard. We've actually invested in state-of-the-art litter-picking tech—yes, the future is here, and it's sucking up Elf Bars faster than your cousin at a wedding disco.
We've also brought in private security to make sure the pitch stays exactly that—a pitch. Not a pop-up campsite. We've learned from last time, and we're not letting things slide again.
And as for Dale—yeah, he's had a rough patch. He's been battling nicotine addiction, and his wife did, tragically, run off with the Bramley linesman (who, let's be honest, was always a bit too keen on the touch flag). But Dale still turns up, still gives 110%, and—let's be real—still hits harder than you ever did, Jim. And that's saying something, considering he's powered purely by regret and Monster Energy these days.
So before you start waxing lyrical about "the good old days," maybe give a bit of credit to the people actually putting in the graft to keep the club alive and the pitch playable.
Less moaning, more supporting. Or at the very least, fewer 3am comment rants.
Up the Vandals.
is that the elderly statesman from Bramley ;D
Have to speak as I find - Vandals pitch was in top notch condition for the last league match of the season. Credit to ground crew, litter pickers and vape marshals. Clubhouse comedian needs some fresh material though.